Within the Fire
by CrazedHumor
Summary: The sacrifice of the soul. The burning of eternity. The life that hangs in the balance. rated for later chapters


**Disclaimer: **I do not own the _Buffy _universe, because no matter how hard I may wish, there really is no such thing as a witch or vengance demon in this universe in order to grant it. The rightful privilage goes to, and may I now bow down to, Joss Whedon. Thanks to him we have his many creations to engourge ourselves on.

Also this is based off the song _Within the Fire _by _Disturbed _and _Phycosocial_ by _Slipknot. _I do not own the song itself or it's title. Thanks is given though, for its inspiration.

**Summary:**Hell was someplace of torture. Of violence and hate. Would you give up your own soul _again_to walk once more amoung the living for your one purpose at life? Even though that one purpose has a life of their own?

**Rated T **for now for course luanguage, violence, and some adult situations. Later may change to M.

This is a Spuffy fic. There will be a slice of Bangle for the sake of the plot... though not in the way you might think. I promise you all that I am and will be a Spuffyite....Though I have to admit that I did like Angel in the first season, then in the second Spike came into the picture and it was all _'Goodbye burger. Hello steak!' _

_This is also just the intro, thus it's shortness._

~~*~~

**Within the Fire**

_**Prolouge: **__**Take the Word of One Immortal**_

He would have thought that after all the stories that he had heard about it, there would have been more to it.

There was feeling. Thoughts were racing through what he thought was his mind. Images of things that would caress him through the pain. Shapes and colors surrounded him in endless proportions, each trying to etch itself into his memory. The only thing that could come near to filtering it out, the noise, the agony, the screams...was the image of her.

It had been nearly a thousand years now and he had not forgotten her. Madness had not set in yet. How was that possible? Every single thing was still etched into his mind. The sent. Beauty. Touch. Taste. Fierceness. Her as a whole had been kept intact through the transition. It was one of the only things that he would be able to force to the surface, for as long as was possible, in his torture.

The feeling would never subside.

The fire that had sent him away the first time had been a matchstick in comparison. This was a volcano.

His entire self burned. There was no pause or moments of wane in it's power. There was no place on and within his self that was untouched. His insides boiled, as though is stomach was wax, melting into his intestines. His skin set fire from the outside in.

His heart, his long since unbeating heart, was now alive. Its angry pounding against his supposed chest never faltering in beats. This was his worst punishment yet, he had found. His heart, which he had forgotten centuries ago, was now alive in his chest. Finally it was there right after he had needed it the most.

He had, in the beginning, wished that it would leave. That he could leave. Run away from it all and just...not excised any more. What good would it be to run though? They would find him. Who ever they were. His, what? Lord? No. Still, he was held in place. In the very beginning he could have sworn he could feel chains rapped around him. There was something holding him down.

Or maybe that was just the hell talking.

Nevertheless, he had tried to fight in the beginning. Voiced rageing in his head. Screaming at him to take it head on and fight to get back. There were so many reasons for him to stay captured and hidden in the infinite darkness...with only one to fight back. Some how that one purpose outweighed the others and he did his damnedest to claw his way out. But alas, there was no way.

All his sins were being brought to justice. The decades of torture and rape and pain that he had given out was being thrown back at him 10 fold.

There had been a laps of sanity in him when he was alive. For only a moment he thought that saving the world twice, retrieving his soul, and giving his undead heart to another would have dusted off his slate at least in the very least. But he had been wrong of course. He had lived a life previouse to that one and he had to pay for it now. He understood that it was his duty to suffer. He was now at peace with that.

This horrible fate was worth the last 5 years of his life. He had had a glimpse of when it would be like to be truly alive. To be looked upon as an equal. To have a taste of love even if it was only one-sided.

So now, as he was, he contorted in agony. He screamed silently for pain. He cried for her.

He had realized some time ago that he must have gone insane through those last few years. There was no pain through it. There was no blood that was spilt. There was no form of torture that he hadn't deserved that they had dealt. He now thought that they had gone far too easy on him. He deserved a lot less than what they had given him. What she had provided. Now he knew that her kindness and understanding was beyond anything he should have been able to reach.

She was literally his angel cast down by god. Even if it was by force.

The millions of needles that pierced his skin shot in further, hitting what could possibly be described as bone, then in a sudden turn of evens...they retreated. His insides were turning into solids and his heart was slowing to a passing rate. He could feel the fire fade, leaving behind the cool feel of a water like substance wash over him from head to toe.

Was that air that he was gasping for now? Where his lungs pulling in the gas around him?

_"A vampire with a soul. How unusual."_

The voice, that came from no where in particular, echoed through him. His brain was pounding against his skull, the noise deafening. It was the first voice that he had heard in over a thousand years.

_"How curious it is that one as the like as you should end up here after what happened with...Though, it is likely that you had much to redeem for, did you not?"_

His body shook with such force that the binds around his torso and appendages broke and he fell into nothingness. He felt nothing around him. There was only dark.

_"You subdue yourself in silence. Only a hand full of followers have been able to come and go without a sound. They all had their reasons...might I ask what it yours?"_

He was unable to speak, his voice had long since closed up on him. Maybe 8 decades ago? Time didn't mean anything anymore. The only way he could tell the time was by what colors he felt around him and for how long they stood. He couldn't remember the last one he had seen.

_"I see...then do you mind if I...take a look?"_

There was no hesitation in the touch, as something frozen reached inside of his head and stayed there for a moment before slowly retracting back to it's owner. A gasp fell from his lips, the ice raced from the crown of his head down his shoulders and toward his toes.

_"You've had a long life. Not nearly as long as it could have been...but long nonetheless. There was pain and grief far greater that what could be delt even from here...Yet, I couldn't help but notice that there was also life where there stood only death." _The owners voice sighed in its pause. _"Damned be he who gave those of the living such feeling to wane upon. For he hath the power to take away, yet he sits and watched the show from his spot in the light, away from such pleasures. Even in the place of death._

_"I also have such power."_

He hung there in confusion. What were they talking about? This didn't make any sense to him. Was it suppose to? Why was this happening so suddently?

_"I am offering you life."_

Life?

_"I am offering you back to that which you still cling to, yet had shunned when you had it within your grasp. I am offering you earth in a corporal form."_

He could go back? He could be sent back to them? To her? He could correct all the mistakes he made and apologize for his ignorance. He could see it again. The spark, his ignition... No. No, this just had to be another form of the torture. They had probably gotten tired of his unresponsiveness and found out the worst form they could possibly give him.

_"I assure you that this opportunity shan't come again. I am busy and though this would be a priceless deal, there are others that I need to attend to...This is my proposition: You will live starting with the time you had last left that realm. Walk again on earth, as your choice, I'll even give you. You would go back as either a vampire or human. It would be of your decision."_

A chance to go back. Again.

_"There are, however, consequences...naturally. If you choose to go back as a vampire, you're soul would be mine to hold onto from the point you first are, should we call it born? You have lived without it for years before and were able to live, this you know. If you go back as a human you would have your soul present until the point where the connection that ties you to the earth is either severed or broken by death or otherwise, this is for both. Also you would have...no memory of the life you previously held. You would be put into the position to have that, which would tie you there, chance have what you had previously lost."_

This was to much information to take in. There was too much to understand. He didn't... couldn't...but what he could... The gods had some sick minds these days. The way that they could twist his head into thinking, giving him hope, that he'd once again be there away from this. All of this that he had done for her at a price that he was willing to pay...but still. He could be free and if that was only for a moment...Satan really was a charicter.

_"Either way, I would end up with your soul in the end, though you would have time with that which you desire most as long as it yearns. As you know it is possible to go to hell and back with or without one. That is the deal. Now it is your choice."_

If this really wasn't a joke...then he'd have two choices. A: Go back as he once was power, blood thirst, and all. Be useful in, what he knew was, the still standing many apocalypses to come. Be the backbone once again. Or B: Go back as a human with the thing he had worked so hard for. Nearly died trying to retrieve for her. It had been his greatest gift to her. He had traveled around the world for it. But that was all...only human and without his precious memories. Useless.

His eyes traveled around him landing on nothing of an evident shape. It felt as though he were spinning from his confusion. His brain and heart screaming at him, two different things in his ears...

_"Have you made your choice or shall I depart from you?"_

His breathing was still coming out ragged. His heart now slamming against his chest cavity even more so than before. This was it. If this was a joke he couldn't take the chance of letting himself get hurt again. That thought was worse than death its self.

His lungs filled in with as much air it could hold. Thoughts and images that he found so precious flashing through his head in disparity. He could feel what felt like rain sliding down his cheeks. His knuckles were clenched so tight that he thought if a butter knife passed over them they would split wide open.

There was a sigh and the voice spoke once more. _"Then could you at least give me the reason?"_

His breath came out in a gust of wind. One word etched out in white.

The voice made a sound of understanding and amusement. A low chuckle erupted around him until it erupted into outright laughter. He could almost see the owner of the voice shaking his head.

_"I see."_

Then it was gone once more... and there was pain.

~*~

So....that's the first chappie. Yeah!!! I'm excited. Obviously. I wrote this a _long _time ago. Haven't had time to go through it and post it, but here you go!

Next will hopefully be posted soon.

Later!


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